The Myth of Self-Sufficiency: Letting Yourself Be Supported
There’s a seductive myth in our culture that whispers, “You should be able to do this on your own.”
It’s a narrative built from rugged individualism, survival mode, and early lessons that support is something to earn or something that might disappear.
But here’s the truth: we are not meant to do life alone. Especially not during seasons of deep change, grief, growth, or uncertainty.
Self-Sufficiency Isn’t the Same as Strength
Sometimes self-sufficiency is a trauma response dressed up as strength. We over-function, over-give, and under-receive—thinking we’re being strong when we’re really just afraid to be seen as a burden.
True strength is allowing yourself to be witnessed in your humanity. It’s asking for help, letting someone carry a bit of your weight, and trusting that you don’t have to hold it all to be worthy.
Support Looks Many Different Ways
Support doesn’t always mean a grand gesture. Sometimes it’s:
A friend texting, “Want to talk or just be quiet together?”
Someone bringing you food without asking questions
A gentle, “I’m here if you need a soft place to land”
It’s okay if you don’t even know what you need yet. Letting someone be with you in the not-knowing is its own kind of healing.
Why It’s Hard to Receive
If you grew up in environments where support was inconsistent, unsafe, or came with strings attached, letting others in now might feel unnatural or terrifying.
But part of healing is learning how to receive healthy support. The kind that doesn’t demand performance. The kind that honors your autonomy. The kind that comes from a place of love, not obligation.
Letting People In Is an Act of Courage
Asking for support doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means you’re brave enough to admit that being human is complex—and that healing, growing, and becoming are not solo endeavors.
It means you’re willing to let someone else witness your truth, even when it's messy or tender or unresolved.
An Invitation
If this resonates, I invite you to soften your grip. Let someone in. Let yourself be cared for—without apology.
And if you’re not sure where to start, begin by naming what feels hard. You don’t need a polished request. You just need honesty.
